Jasmine Hart

Thanks guys. Ok, update; I have fourteen poems. I have fourteen and a half pages of the second draft of my novel done. I am journaling every day. I have ...

That's brilliant, Claudette! Well done!!!!

Critique one. (Apologies for the delay, the other two will follow eventually, I promise!) The twist was goos and overall, you tell the story well. However, I think that you ...

This flowed beautifully. I'd get rid of the commas after "sound" and "ground" and "of" as I don't think that you really need them. The way in which you've laid ...

This is nice, but some of your rhythm is a bit out in places. I'd get rid of "because", as I don't think you need it and it puts your ...

Hi J. Welcome! Let me start by saying that your imagery is really beautiful. I think that the beginning could be tightend up a bit. Please excuse me for playing ...

It is one of the more unjust facts of life that it is the child who automatically wins sympathy from outsiders in any dispute which may occur between them and ...

I agree with Matt about the capitals, that being the only flaw I can see here, and it's not even necessarily a flaw as capitals aren't obligatory in poetry of ...

This is really lovely. I love "trapped in the eye of the past". It's really fresh. I'm not sure that "setting" is quite right...I'd suggest "fading" as it soudns more ...

I agree. This is beautiful and magical and fabulous and brilliant and your imagery is great. Since I'm finicky, I'd suggest changing the first line to; "Existing words cannot express." ...

The flow was very good.You have a couple of typos here. Eg, I'm presuming there should be a "have" in the first line. I'd change the second line. I think ...

It's lovely. I preferred the second draft. I'd change "promenade" to "walk" or "stroll", or something similar, as I think that "promenade" is too much. Other than that, it's great. ...

I really like it.Your imagery is beautiful, and I love how you tell the story. I love; "The spring snowed in its own way and pollen dusted her hair yellow." ...

Aw. Luck luck luck! I really hope you get it.

Hmmm...stuck again :( help?